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Perks of old age

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I received this as an email but I thought it would make an excellent blog post!


Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60

And heading towards 70 or beyond!

01.    Kidnappers are not very

          interested in you.

02.    In a hostage situation, you

          are likely to be released first.

03.    No one expects you to run  –

           – anywhere.

04.    People call at 9 PM (or 9  AM)

           and ask, “Did I wake you?”

05.     People no longer view you as

           a hypochondriac.

06.     There is nothing left to learn

           the hard way.

07.     Things you buy now won’t

           wear out.

08.     You can eat supper at 4 PM.

09.    You can live without sex but

           not your glasses.

10.     You get into heated arguments

           about pension plans.

11.     You no longer think of speed

           limits as a challenge.

12.     You quit trying to hold your

           stomach in no matter who

           walks into the room.

13.     You sing along with elevator music.

14.     Your eyes won’t get much worse.

15.     Your investment in health insurance

           is finally beginning to pay off.

16.     Your joints are more accurate

           meteorologists than the

           national weather service.

17.     Your secrets are safe with

           your friends because they can’t

           remember them either.

18.     Your supply of brain cells is finally

           down to  a manageable size.

19.     You can’t remember who sent you

           this list. And you notice these are

           all in big print  for your convenience.

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER, under any circumstances,

take a sleeping pill, and

a laxative on the same night!

other blogs by Robert Bovington:

“Photographs of Spain”
“Spanish Impressions”
“postcards from Spain”
“you couldn’t make it up!”
“a grumpy old man in Spain”
“Spanish Expressions”
“Spanish Art”
“Books About Spain”
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1 Comment

This looks like a delicious recipe. I usually leave the cooking to my wife but this looks like a meal that I could manage to prepare.

Chica Andaluza

Do you remember the 1970s? Well, I am sure some of you do, even if you were only babes in arms.  I was a young teenager at the end of the 1970s but it was a time in London when great changes were afoot in the world of food.  The height of sophistication at the time for a dinner party was probably something along the lines of prawn and avocado cocktail, steak with pepper sauce and Black Forest gâteau for dessert. And nothing wrong with any of that I say…but the 80s were soon going to herald the advent of Nouvelle Cuisine (or really tiny portions) and strange mixtures of ingredients such as Loin of some Obscure and Almost Extinct Creature Marinated in a Gooseberry and Guinness Jus. Well, you know what I mean.

Having watched a DVD of Abigail´s Party (I wish I knew how to insert video clips)…

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The Winalot Diet

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Didn’t like shopping there anyway!

 The following is an email doing the rounds….
Yesterday I was at my local TESCO’s store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in hospital last time, but I’d lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked me if  I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter’s arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I’m now banned from TESCO’s.