I found these phrases whilst surfing the Internet. They are not exactly politically correct, but I found them funny!

  • A bird in hand makes it hard to blow nose.
  • Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
  • Elevator smell different to midget.
  • Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
  • He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
  • He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next tonothing
  • It takes many nails to build a crib but one screw to fill it.
  • Man standing on toilet is high on pot.
  • Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.
  • Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
  • Man who farts in church sits in his own pew!
  • Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
  • Man who fishes in other man’s well often catches crabs.
  • Man who lives in glass house should masturbate in basement.
  • Man who put head on railway track to listen for train likely to end upwith splitting headache.
  • Man who stick foot in mouth get athlete’s tongue!
  • Man who tells one too many light bulb jokes will soon burn out!
  • Man with one chopstick go hungry.
  • Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with fullhouse.
  • Passionate kiss like spider’s web, soon lead to undoing of fly.
  • Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk
  • Support bacteria — it’s the only culture some people have!
  • Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
  • War doesn’t determine who is right, war determines who is left.
  • When called an idiot, it is sometimes better to be quiet, than open one’smouth and remove all doubt.
  • Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
  • Confucius say too damn much.
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